Thursday, March 20, 2008

16. Talk to the wall- be yourself

One of the prime desires behind conversation is the desire to please. We feel happy if we can please the person we are talking to. The immediate gain for us is that if the other person is pleased, he will allow us to speak more. He will also think well of us and don't we all want others to have good opinion about us?We often say what the other person wants to hear and not necessarily what we want to say simply to leave a good impression on the other person. We make flattering remarks about the other person, knowing fully well that this is not true. In some situations, we say pleasant things to gain favour as well as to avert harm. This is why some people become very good human beings when their bosses are about to write their confidential reports.We are also capable of making very quick adjustments while the conversation is in progress. We can detect very minute variations in the other person's facial expressions and go on tailoring our conversation accordingly. We keep meandering all the time, passing through soft sand and avoiding hard rocks.When we talk to the wall, our expressions can be true reflection of our thoughts and feelings. We don't have to tailor our conversation as per the wishes of the wall. We neither have to please the wall nor avert any harm or seek any favour from it. It is only before the wall that we can be ourselves.

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