Saturday, August 30, 2008

40. Desire to help alone will not do

Desire to help alone is not enough. You must also know how to help. If you do not know, you may actually end up harming. This is why they say that a wise enemy is better than a foolish friend. At least, you will not be harmed unintentionally. You ought to be careful of friends and relatives who are keen to help, but do not really know how to go about it.
It is not uncommon for a new occupant of a house to come across neighbours who go all out to make him comfortable. They will ring the bell umpteen number of times to offer water, tea, food and, of course, advice. The occupant may soon be so exasperated that he may start looking for a new house just to get rid of ‘helpful’ neighbours.
It is also not uncommon to come across over-caring friends and relatives when one falls sick. One shudders to see them coming again and again along with their family members including newborn babies to inquire about one’s well being. There may be others who keep calling constantly to have regular updates on the current state of health. When confronted with such well-wishers, one may regret having survived some serious illness.
In offices, there are seniors who always guard themselves against juniors, ever eager to help irrespective of their capabilities. People can work very hard to put together an absolutely atrocious proposal. Mid-night oil can be burnt to prepare a draft, which no one can understand. For hapless seniors, it may be very difficult to retrieve the situation without being offensively blunt.
Therefore, when you set out to help someone, study the situation carefully and see if you have a role to play and whether you can play that role. Only if you are absolutely sure, take the next step. Otherwise, the best you can do for the other person is leave him alone.

1 comment:

Aviral said...

At least better than some of your previous blogs