When someone is alive, we tend to ignore his qualities and focus on his faults. If we are in a superior position or if the other person is gentle by nature, we do not mind humiliating him at every step. Hardly do we bother about the pain we are causing to him. If the person is in a superior position and is not the one to take things lying down, we keep boiling inside. We are so used to ignoring something or someone, easily available to us.
When the person is no more, we begin to appreciate his qualities. We start realizing what he did for us and how much we depended on him. We regret that we never appreciated his qualities and his sacrifices while he was alive. This feeling of guilt does no good to us or to the departed.
Why not appreciate a person’s qualities while he is alive? Everyone is a mix of the good and the bad. It is unfair and illogical to focus only on the bad and ignore the good. Also, the bad we think we see in the other person may not really exist. It may simply be a matter of perception.
If we can learn to ignore the bad in others and exaggerate the good, we may be moving towards the ideal situation. This is easier said than done, but with effort and persistence, we may be able to train the mind. We may try to make a beginning with our near and dear ones, specially the old ones who may not be around for long.