Thursday, March 20, 2008

15. The wall does not get hurt

Have you started talking to the wall ? If not yet, I have found one more reason to inspire you to do so. Often, you hurt others without any intention to do so. You may say something totally innocuous, but the other person may find something absolutely abominable in it. You may genuinely praise someone, but the other person may delve deep and come up with some hint of sarcasm. And if you innocently praise a third person while talking to someone, he is sure to get hurt.
The problem is that most people keep their feelings of hurt to themselves. If someone is hurt by what you have said, he will not tell you. He may not even reveal it through his gestures and behaviour. He will just keep brooding over it and thinking of ways to get even with you. He suffers and makes his near and dear ones suffer too. Strangely, the only one who does not share his suffering is you- the cause of his suffering. His life and the lives of those close to him would have been much better if he had frankly and instantly told you about his feeling of hurt. This would have enabled you to clarify the matter and he would have been at peace with himself unless he had the capacity to discover something nasty even in your clarification.
Some people keep sulking for a long time and when it becomes unbearable, they go to the other person and reveal what really hurt them. This may not be of much use, because by that time, the other person might have forgotten what he had said and why. He may, therefore, be totally incapable of defending himself. Sometimes, such revelation comes suddenly and strikes you like lightning. This normally is the case with people close to you and so, you need to be particularly careful about such people.
When you talk to the wall, you cannot hurt it. There is no problem of communication gap, no feeling of humiliation, no sulking… You can speak to the wall and be absolutely sure that it has understood every word in the sense you used it.

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