Sunday, December 20, 2009

79. Rude or polite- what to be?

If you have been polite to someone all the time, it requires just one act of rudeness on your part to fall out of his favour. The person will easily forget all the occasions when you had been nice to him and remember the solitary occasion when you were rude.

Obviously, this is not rational. One is not expected to ignore the one hundred times a person behaved politely and remember the solitary slip-up. But that does not happen. Why?

I think, if you have always been nice to a person, he expects only that kind of behaviour from you. Any deviation shocks him and leaves a deep impression which overshadows everything else. Your general behaviour creates an image that you have to live up to all the time. Any deviation may set the tongues wagging.

Sometimes, you may not even know that your behaviour is hurting someone. You may be saying something pleasant or harmless, but the other person is capable of discovering some rudeness, sarcasm or harm in what you are saying.

If you are rude to someone all the time, a single gesture of politeness on your part may overwhelm him. He will forget all your rudeness and remember the solitary gesture of politeness. Reasons are again the same.

Therefore, from a practical point of view, it is advisable to be rude all the time with occasional flashes of warmth. The recipient of your behaviour will be impressed, feel obliged and advertise your goodness. On the other hand, being polite all the time with occasional slip-ups may lead others to paint you as a monster which, of course, you are not.


Sai Charan... said...

Namaste Onkarji,

I'm happy to be back after a little gap. Many thanks to you for regularly writing your opinions on my blog posts inspire of me being so silent.

Now this topic "Rude or Polite" is related to human psychology, opinions vary in a good way from person to person as per their way of thinking.

There is no "standard way" to be followed in such cases. Do you think following the practical advice you talked about at the end, make a person feel better?

I'll say - "Be polite to the polite and be rude to the rude"

So, choose your behavior in a calculated way - as per the order of priority people have in your books. Be polite with those with whom you feel you should and behave the other way round with the rest.

Can one act of rudeness turn the scene totally? Change the outlook of a polite person that instantly? - There is always a first time excuse, isn't it?

Judging behavior depends on how well the other person knows you. Anyway, thanks for sharing a nice good topic :) Keep writing more...

Sai :)

rohini said...

rightly said....yesterday only i was in this state.,,may be due to expectations which we have from that person..but again giving a thought it was bad frm my point to think so....but your analysis is very your post reminded me of that state but your study has made me normal...thnx

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